Hoping the New Year brings back the Old Fairy!

Hey Fearless Readers! Well. **coughs, sending up swirls of dust, brushes away cobwebs** Man. Have I been away for a long time or what? All the cheese is moldy in the fridge and all the fish are dead. It would seem two and a half years of constant writing is all I'm good for, because about the middle to end of writing The Last Unicorn Hunter in July of 2010, my mojo got up and went. I got excited about NaNoWriMo... for about three days, and then... pffft! I don't know exactly what happened, but my sewing box suddenly had more appeal than my Mac and my office chair. I've been cross stitching fairies and mermaids for the past four months.

Actually, that might not be true - the part about not knowing what happened to the el mojo. But be prepared: there is a lot of bitching ahead. Stick with me till the last paragraph, though, I'm going to try and redeem myself.

I've got some serious self-esteem problems and an almost strangling fear of looking like an ass. I sent out about 50 queries... and had not one single bite. Nothing. Nada. No one wanted to look at pages. I know that being a writer takes a lot of work and a lot of persistence. I know that on paper, at least. But the silence in the inbox... not just the silence, but the sucking sound of the wind filling the empty place the requests could have been, whistled through my ears. The wind started to sing to me, and all the songs were about how much I suck. How hopeless it is. How unprepared I am for publication, for an agent, for anything. You may know some of those songs yourself. So, like a kid who has just burned themselves on a hot stove, I pulled all my fingers back and put them in my pocket.

The other little thing that sort of turned me away from my usual activities was a question of genre. Silly thing, I know, but... no one wants to read about dragons and forests and treks anymore. Many of the agents (all carefully vetted, I assure you) said they didn't represent traditional fantasy. ??? yeah. They all represented at least one author that wrote traditional fantasy, and listed fantasy in their preferences... but...I'm not about to start sounding like the Rejection Queen. I queried agents I admire and want, and I still admire them, whether they want me or not. What's worse: I don't really think Jale of Dragonfael is very traditional fantasy (that's an obvious fail on my query there) but this was just another thing that sent my mojo into freefall and jammed my fingers farther into my pockets. I'll blog a little more about the Urban Fantasy question later on.

So. There is all my stupid whinging; my reasons for not writing and editing and so on and so forth, and I know how lame they all are. I know - it's pathetic. I know traditional fantasy is still being published. The Hobbit and Game of Thrones are being filmed or are in preproduction, for Heaven's sake! I know that a good book sells regardless of genre or fad. I know that if my query sucks, I have to keep at it until it doesn't suck anymore. I know that I am not a brilliant genius who deserves special treatment. But I'm being truthful here- and the point of this blog was a writer's journey. I'm sorry to say that some of that journey is spent acting like an ass and/or arguing at the ceiling. So, what I'm saying is *deep breath* I am done with my little fit and my little break. I am trying to get over myself, and get back at the books. I've got so many stories to write. No one else is going to write them. They may not get published... but I'd prefer they weren't left to chew their way out of my forehead noggin either!

So - /bitch. Below is how last year's goals shook out. I'm still deciding what to do for 2011. I have an awesome new idea I have called "Dark Spark" to write January and February, as well as spending one hour a day editing The Endways of the Gods, but the rest of the year is TBD.

Jan and Feb
Write The Endways of the Gods: a multidimensional fantasy/sci fi mix done Feb 10!
March
NaNoEdMo: edit The Spiritcaster done!
April
Finish the The Horses of Valdor FAIL! (sadly, this story just didn't work. No soup for you!)
Also: hoping to have Spiritcaster out to betas done!
May
Work on edits to Jale of Dragonfael, synopsis and query done!
June and July
Write The Last Unicorn Hunter - a fantasy done!
August
Edit Endways of the Gods FAIL!
September and October
Write Of Later Elves and Dragons - Urban Fantasy FAIL!
Nov and December
Write Road Dogs - a fantasy western of redemption and horror FAIL!

So. Here is to the New Year, and hopefully, the Old Fairy. The one that wrote every day and had most things in perspective. How is your perspective in the new year? (Or are you already calling me an idiot in the comments?! Don't do that!! I don't like it!! :) tee hee.....