Why I've Avoided Editing

This month might be the month of "Why" blogposts. 


Now that I've gone into the "woods" (see previous post), I'm trying to get some editing done. But I feel like I'm swimming in very wet concrete. Or trying to cuddle a wet cat. Speaking of that previous blog, commenter Diandra said that for her, she knows the story already, she's written the book, why go back? I answered that for me, I fear I will never make the book as good as I want it to be, so I avoid editing. That way I avoid failure. And that was the first time I realized that. Or maybe the first time I admitted it to myself.


The thought of actually finishing the book (an achievement in itself, if you ask me, but that might be another blogpost) then editing and editing, and still winding up with shit, is just heartbreaking. Maybe it's being lazy. Maybe it's that one edit never does it. I've read that famous lady's book about doing an edit in one pass, but she focuses on plot and story. I feel (fairly) confident about my story, it's the voice and the language that I worry about. Not layering it with purple gauze, but making it straightforward and tight, without losing what makes my story mine. Or at least not sounding like an amateur. And after all that, you go back and read it again and it comes up so very, very short.


And I have to go through this process four times in a very short period of time. I have four books to edit.


*makes more coffee*