!!! I Love Exclamation Points!!!

Do you know that I only recently learned we aren't supposed to use exclamation points at the end of every other sentence?!! And guess what?? I fucking love exclamation points!


There's nothing like that line, set off by a dot at the bottom to give your sentence a punch! LIKE CAPS LOCK! IT SAYS YOU REALLY MEAN IT! It's my punctuation of choice. I also blame a review I read - way back when most stuff you read was in magazines or newspapers, so I can't give you a link to it, don't ask! The reviewer said even the punctuation was boring. Mr. Bad Husband was beating Innocent Female Character who was trying to warn him about some impending doom (I imagine the scene was along the lines of "Stop beating me. That's no moon. Earth is scheduled for destruction so they can put in an interstellar highway." or some such) and the reviewer said "Not one exclamation point, during all that struggle. The world is going to end, and no one raised their voice?" 


Please note that some of my tongue was stuck in my cheek, but not all of it. If you are ever so (un)fortunate as to receive an email from me, you will be socked elbows over kneecaps with exclamation points. One can be as eccentric and buck as many trends as one wants in emails. However, I have purged most of them from mah proses over this current fickle fad that says exclamation points are baaad. Elmore Leonard says you can have one in every hundred-thousand words or so. Generous bastard, ain't he? So unless you're Stephen King or Robert Jordan (RIP) - in other words, mere mortal, you get one per book. 


Choose it's location wisely, my friends, lest ye be mocked by the gods of punctuation.