Every year, I buy a couple of really gorgeous planners. One is a day-a-page planner I use as a diary and planner. The other is a week-at-a-glance planner with a full week on two pages. This one I use to keep track of my word count and writing related things such blog posts, etc. This second book is painfully ink free this year.
Like, really, really blank. Sadly blank. Depressingly blank. A sea of blankness.
I don't feel good about that. When I'm not writing I feel like I have no point. I drift. I don't sleep well. Guilt bows me down. And yet I don't address it. I don't sit down and write.
When it comes to writing, I require a deadline to start. I know that makes no sense, but I need to start at the beginning of something: a week, a month, a year. I can't just say to myself I should be writing, right now. I think, I will prepare myself; I say at this time and date I will sit down and begin. And that's silly. Sitting down and writing a paragraph doesn't take any preparation at all. And writing every day doesn't require that you follow a set formula: in other words, you don't have to write or edit on the same story until you are done. I could do something new. I could edit a page. I've had flashes of story ideas and/or scenes and I have not sat down and written them. They've disappeared like sparks flying upwards. Yes. I've been watching John Green videos.
I've also been spending a lot of time on Tumblr, reblogging photos of tea cups and piles of open books and things instead of writing. I think I'm turning into a hipster. It's a terrifying eventuality. I wonder when I'll get my plaque and salad tongs...which I will employ in an ironic way. I'll use them to serve asparagus rather than salad.
But I digress.
If you would like to see lots of reblogged photos of open books and cups of tea and coffee, please feel free to visit my tumblr at bettieleetwoOccasionallyWrites and please follow me. I think I have 5 followers. It's embarrassing. And the name is timely, don't you think? There are also lots of Sherlock fandom stuff and me making fun of Tom Hiddleston's perfection and celebrating the amazingness that is Robert Downey the Jr. and Richard Armitage's steely visage. Also... feminism.
I continue to digress.
So tonight I decided to write a blog post and to do it tonight, not tomorrow or on April 1st. I really love my blog and I have missed it, but didn't see much point in writing blog posts when I had nothing to blog about, writing wise. I feel so out of touch with words. Like I said, all at sea, adrift, unable to anchor my thoughts. And I'm going to do some writing tomorrow, as well. I don't know what it will be. It might be a flash piece, it might be another blog post about all the reading I've been doing. I don't know. But I will write tomorrow. And on Tuesday, I will begin Camp NaNoWriMo, where everything's made up and the points don't matter... wait. That's the Drew Carey show. It's like NaNoWriMo only less. My hope is to work on The Vampire Baron. It needs serious editorials. And also features Richard Armitage's steely visage.
And I may or may not have bought some See's candy. I see no reason why I should have any shame about this. I mean, look at that Teen Mom porn girl.