Wednesday, July 18, 2012
And so comes the doubt....
I know how wrong this is. I'm going to kvetch on the internet. This blog is all about my journey as a writer, and sometimes, that journey consists of pulling off your "big girl" panties and pissing where you squat.
A dog-damned pendulum. That is the writer's life. One minute, you're swingin' through the trees, making love with the butterflies and comparing wings with the hummingbirds, thinking this bliss will never end! The next, you're curled up in the mud clutching a bottle of Mad Dog 20 20 just wishing it was all over.
I had the butterfly experience the beginning of the week, but I see the mud and the Mad Dog 20 20 becoming a possibility soon. I blame this funk on attempting to write a query and to find suggestions on how to do so. It's one of those things I just haven't grasped. It always bums me out and leads me to more researching and more finding myself coming up short. Don't forget about the synopsis. And the search for an agent. And being prepared to talk about your book. And describe it like you know what you're doing. And a pitch - that is a thing now! Everyone tried to stop it from happening - it's for movies and tv shows, but now, agents want a "pitch" of your book. I guess I just don't like the shlocky way they come out. "In a world where only silverlight should exist, Sara Bell hunts down a brutal killer bent on not only using his dreadlight, but destroying the very fabric of magic as she knows it...." Ok. That's not the pitch. That totally sucks. I know you don't pepper your query and pitch with your made-up words. But you see the kind of crap I come up with.
When I imagine speaking to someone (because I rarely leave the house, let alone talk to people) and imagine them asking me about my book, I see myself growing vacant-eyed...and yes, there is slobber. This is not a good thing. Not ever a good thing.
And it's probably not a good thing to get online and let everyone know how hard you suck at one very necessary part of the publishing process. But just in case there are others of you out there, and I know there are, hovering on the edge of QUITTING! QUITTING! I'M QUITTING! and believing "All it takes is practice, or the right advice-book... and directing your work at the right agent... and hard honest work until you get it right..." For those of you who still have hope and fear that hopelessness will one day replace it... I would like to give you a *fistbump* and a glass to pour your Mad Dog in. Let's try and remained civilized, people, even as we sink into the mud.
Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to rinse out my big-girl panties.